So why do I write? It's an intriguing question; to ask someone why they do what they do. What brought them to their profession, hobby, fandom? I took to reading early, ravenously read through entire series. It didn't matter if it was Nancy Drew, Judy Blume, Stephen King or Harry Potter. Always with each book, as I experienced all these adventures between the pages, what I really wanted to do was write my own story.
I am a self-proclaimed introvert, perfect personality trait to write. Being the center of attention is uncomfortable, confining. But when I write, I am free of anxiety, of fear. It is on the paper that I can write and re-write to craft the words that express my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions.
To be a writer, is what I have wanted to do since I was seven years old. I have never wavered from my desire to create my own worlds, my own stories and characters. To create something lasting. When I can't form the words with my mouth, I can always type them with my fingers.
I've always been able to write about anything. Though sometimes, I just don't know what to write. But when I do, it gives me power, it gives me confidence.
I love finishing that first book, letting the story pour out of me. It gives me a great sense of pride with each draft when I see the story fill itself out, when I link each book to the other as I tell a complete story. I don't feel as confident with anything else in my life as I do when I write.
And through the highs and lows in my life, to write it was keeps me sane. When I don't write, heavy emotions can wear my down. Writing is my therapy. It is my strength.
I write because simply, writing is a part of me. When darkness gathers and envelopes me, writing is my light. It is my fire. I was born to do nothing else.
I read a blog Tara M. Martin . It was there she answered the same question; why does she write? So I had this idea to share why I wrote. And then it occurred to me. I'm going to pass the question on. To all my writer friends, why do you write? To all my non-writer friends, what is your passion.
Life should not be passionless. We should dance, sing, write exercise, mediate; do something we are passionate about every day. Every day.
I'm tired. I took a full-time job to pay for the marketing to try to sell my books. I come home, take care of the children, the bills, groceries, dishes and take care of the other commitments that come with living in the real world. It makes me no different from other moms. I'm not claiming I am. And this isn't about how my life may or may not suck.
It's about my second job. The one I've been working at for the last four years. The one I'm not getting paid for, the one that takes me away from friends, commitments, children, relaxing. Again, it's not a mom thing. I've been an unpaid mom for sixteen years. No, this is about the dream, the job I really want.
When people ask how I'm doing, I mostly say I'm okay, unless I'm really tired, really stressed and really needing a good writing session. And frankly I don't complain much about it because most people tell me, maybe if I'm that stressed, I should put the books away for a little while.
I'm tired of explaining myself to everyone. It's not a simple proposition to put the book down. It's like cutting off a limb. It's a part of me. When I'm not writing, it gnaws at me, crawls through my skin reminding me that there's something else I'd rather be doing. I almost waited too long to begin my journey and if I put it away for even just a week, I may out of habit never pick it up again. I can't do that.
Even as my world can sometimes crash around me as I struggle to get the laundry done, the groceries bought, the children taken care of, have a social life, I desperately reach for something to hold on to so that I don't drown in my daily life. My life saver is writing. When you want something badly enough and you can't shake it, you keep at it even when everything else is in danger of falling to pieces. It's my life line.
Never tell an aspiring writer to put it away for a little while. We have a story to tell, an emotion to release, a message to say. If we put it away for even a little while, it burns a hole in us and we're no longer being true to ourselves. .
One day maybe the non-writer will understand.
I've been blocked for days. I'm editing a book and writing a second. I had hoped to be done with the second book by now, the problem is, that book wasn't going well. I scrapped it again because it's just not coming out the way I wanted it to and now I've been unmotivated and even when I sit down to write, the words aren't coming. I'm mentally exhausted. In the last year since releasing She Wulf, I've been on an up and down roller coaster of emotion and self-doubt. I haven't been able to focus on which book should be the second in the series. Where do I go from here?
Just for fun I looked up writer's block on You Tube. I didn't watch the entire video, I simply have no patience for it, but what I did get from it is this, give yourself permission to write garbage. It's the idea that the way to break through the block is to simply write. Books don't get written if words aren't put to paper.
Who hasn't put too much pressure on themselves as they attempt to fulfill their dreams. I'm feeling that pressure. I'm overly critical and have developed a fear of losing my hold on my dream. To keep that hold, I work every day. I write something everyday, I work on Twitter, and Facebook at the expense of my children and my relationships and myself. I've lost my balance and now I'm blocked.
When we feel paralyzed by fear or uncertainty, the key to pulling ourselves out of our funk is to create junk, jump into a problem with both feet without analyzing it or over thinking it. Just do it. I think I've heard that somewhere before. The most important plan is to just write it, just do it, stop thinking about it. Stop letting the block become the obstacle that derails you.
I experienced that recently in my day job. Taking a job that involves me calling people on the phone and selling sponsorships. Who was I thinking I was when I said yes to that? I couldn't change what I did, I wasn't able to control the nature of my job and I forced myself to stop thinking about the fear. I realized that working outside of my comfort zone would benefit me regardless of what I was doing in my life. So after twirling in my chair, I made my phone calls. It wasn't perfect, I wasn't perfect but I did it.
By not dwelling on the past and swimming in the despair opened me up to new opportunities. Whether it be a job or an unexpected story line, controlling the fear gives you a new approach to the problem. So if you write something awful, that shouldn't be seen by anyone else, that's okay. That's what the edit is for. At least the story is moving forward and you gain word count. Say to hell with the writer's block. You're better than that.