Anxiety isn't just something you can “Get over,” or outgrow. It's fear of the unknown, it can create low self-confidence and the fear grows more fear. It's just that … anxiety and if you don't have it, you just don't get it.
Though there's medicine that can reduce the stress, and therapy that can teach how to live with anxiety, what I've learned from raising a child with severe anxiety is, it just doesn't go away. No amount of yelling, screaming, or rationalizing with your child will accomplish anything. And trust me, I've done it all when dealing with my kid, because my stress level grows when I can't get her to do simple things, like be outside in the wind, or ordering a sandwich at the local Subway.
My daughter became a legal adult at 18, that was 1 1/2 years ago. I didn't expect the anxiety to go away, but I was hoping with some maturity, she would be more willing to help herself learn how to live with it. But now what I'm dealing with an adult who has anxiety. She's just as stubborn about what she won't do as she was before, but now I have some loss of control over certain situations.
Have you ever tried to talk to the doctor on behalf of your child and you can't because guess what? They're now an adult and the doctor legally can't tell me anything without permission from my kid. It's like beating my head against the wall.
It really wouldn't be an issue if said child felt comfortable speaking to others on the phone, which she doesn't, because you know why, anxiety. So what do you do when one doctor wants to sent your child to a specialist for a suspected issue and the billing office of another doctor needs to speak to your child and they won't even hint as to why. .
AS with everything with my child with anxiety, I'm looking for answers to help assist without completely letting her get away with not advocating for herself. I'm looking to create a legal document that gives me permission to speak with doctor's offices. If anything it should alleviate some of my stress. When possible, I do make her call and give permission, but sometimes, when I'm not there, she choose to be obstinate.
Yeah, its frustrating, annoying, drives me crazy but this is who my child is. I can only do the best I can to make her and my life easier.
It takes a lot of compassion and understanding to deal with what you don't understand. Some day I hope she remembers all I did to give her a good and full life, not defined by anxiety. One day I hope she finds a way to live with the anxiety so it doesn't rule her.