Raising an Introvert | Sheryl Steines

Raising an Introvert

I’m an introvert; the type of person who if I have more than one scheduled event in a day, I’m not happy. It’s not because I hate doing things, it has to do with needing down time; time to recharge, to refresh and to get away from people.

As an adult I realized that I’m responsible for adjusting to situations that render me anxious. I can either hide from those experiences, or I can face them head on. Knowing this, I recently took a job at a small firm in which I was to sell a service to members. It was such a departure from the types of jobs I normally take that I wasn’t sure it was the right path for me. I’ve always hated speaking on the phone, I need visual cues to adapt my conversation, but this job, I lost that and talking on the phone is generally stressful for me. But I’m adult and I realized that the only way I can gain experience and feel comfortable was to make myself uncomfortable.

I took the job against my better judgment because I’m 46 years old. I have more experience, more live behind me and most importantly, the desire to make a change. But what I really have is a 16 year old daughter who I recognize in her, all of my struggles. And as I live through them once again and for my daughter, it breaks my heart.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be sharing her struggles as she works through her fear and anxiety. The goal is to help her grow into a functioning adult and learn to enjoy her life, not hide from it. I recognize me in her and as a parent; I want her struggle to not be as hard as mine was. But when is the right to let go of our children and push them out of the nest?

We decided it was time to make her uncomfortable, to bring the fear to the surface and retrain her thought process on anxiety and fear, reconditioning her to learn what she needs to take a step toward what makes her scared. She doesn’t like it; it’s hard to watch her cry and fight it, but in the end, it’s my job to help her reach adulthood as happy and healthy as I can.

She may not like me now, but I’m hoping by the time she reaches adulthood, she will at least see that the emotional pain was all worth it. We aren’t always able to go against are basic personality. My daughter and I will always be introverts. All we can do is find a ways to deal with it so that life is better, more rewarding and fulfilling.

Sometimes raising kids is really hard and we have to do things that break our hearts, but in the end I know for my daughter, she will come out on the other side stronger than she started.

Leave a Comment:

Joanna says August 10, 2014

Hi Sheryl! Just started reading your blog. I so identify with your daughter. I started having panic attacks about 14 years ago, and I really feel for her. Facing your fears is a very hard thing to do. One of the things I have found so helpful for me is using therapeutic quality essential oils. I’ve stopped some of my own panic attacks within about 10 seconds just pressing a drop of oil to the roof of my mouth (quickest way to get it to the brain). Some of the oils can act as neurotransmitters in your brain and can have a profound effect on anxiety. I’d really love to send you both some samples to try! I think it could be very helpful for her journey. Let me know! 🙂

    Sheryl Steines says August 10, 2014

    Thanks for the encouragement. It’s been a tough journey for her and it seems as though whatever can go wrong with her does. We’re trying a form a therapy that in a safe environment she can face what makes her anxious and work through it with the help of me and her dad. She doesn’t like it but in the end, I think she realizes that some of what she’s afraid of isn’t so scary once she does it.

    Thanks for sharing. It’s a really hard thing to do. I appreciate your thoughts.

      Joanna says August 10, 2014

      I’m looking forward to hearing more about her working through this, sounds like a hard process that will help in the long run. And I’m sure she will learn so much about herself, and then able to help others in the future who are going through the same thing!
      God Bless,

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