As Rosh Hashana, the Jewish New Year winds down and we head into the most holy days on the Jewish calendar, I get a chance to breathe. To take time to review my year, what did I do right, what did I do wrong, what can I improve on and what should I continue to do. I might not be the most practicing, but in this I always take the time to remember the holidays and take a moment to think about what it means.
To put it in perspective, I think about the last year. It was a year ago this week when I released She Wulf. I was so full of hope and happiness and I couldn't wait to share my new masterpiece. Within the first two days of my blog tour I received two very harsh reviews, one of which was mean and the third review was merely okay. I was devastated. I could barely talk, because every time I opened my mouth to speak, I burst into tears. I cried for a week.
I could have quit at that moment. Said enough of this, I can't deal with the rejection, with the work, with the ups and downs. If it weren't for three very special women who encouraged me not to quit I just might have. But they for whatever reason, took the time to walk me from the so called ledge and inform me that I have something there. The books, there's something worth working for.
Looking back at the period of time, I still can't believe that it's been a year. Did I learn something from that experience, can I improve on what I've done, make it better? After taking three months off to overcome the biggest set back of my young writing career, I did take stock in my life and what it was that I truly wanted. What I really wanted was to write. Instead of letting it get me down, I made a plan.
Hard work doesn't mean we'll be successful, because mostly it seems to be a lot of luck. But if you don't work for what you want, you most definitely won't get there. My plan became an all encompassing re-write of my first two books. The farther I got into The Day of First Sun, the more I realized what I had done wrong the first time around. Eventually it became a fluid project with a change in the plan. I was going to re-write book one and bring back the book that was originally to be book two. As part of the re-write and restructuring of the series, book one will be renamed, and a new cover designed. I'm starting from scratch.
And yes. It's a lot of work and probably a waste of a lot of money, but if I'm going to put so much work into improving what I had done, shouldn't I give it a fighting chance to do well, leave the baggage behind and move forward?
For the Jewish New Year, I decided that I owe it to myself to grab this fresh start and forget the failures of the past. I can only rely on myself to work my way from my pit of despair. I can only move up and only I can make my success.