Browsed by
Category: writing

My Author Journey

My Author Journey

My journey begins today!

Thoughts from today:

It’s been one hell of a journey, these last 7 years. In that time, I’ve been up and I’ve been down while at the same time and I’ve been standing still. It was time to make some major changes. It started with the complete rewrite of book one and restructuring my entire series. I had the blog completely recreated and organized. My Twitter handle and Facebook author page changed. I turned it upside down.

It’s funny though, because the struggles from seven years ago are still the struggles I have seven years into the journey. The only thing that’s changed is; I’m far more knowledgeable and maybe a little more confident about what I want and where I want to go. And as book two is finally about to be released, I remember and reminisce, and really the journey is still the same.

So here’s my Throwback Thursday blog from 2011.

I can’t believe that it’s been a year, this month, since I published The Day of First Sun. In that time, I’ve cried, complained, written, edited, worked on the blog, cried, hated Twitter, loved Twitter, cried, threw my computer down in disgust. I’ve researched, questioned other writers, sat for hours under a cold breeze at Wizard World, all in the hopes of finding that one thing, the one spark that would get my book out there in the market, in front of the right person.

In the first 11 months, I did what I was told would work. I got a Facebook author page, a Twitter Account, Amazon author page, sent letters to independent books stores in hopes I could get a book signing. But in that time all I’ve managed to do is sell my book to my friends and family and maybe some strangers. 

It’s always time well spent, on an anniversary, to take a moment to reflect on the past year and learn something from it. I learned I suck at marketing and I’m rather computer/internet illiterate.

No I actually did learn something valuable. I learned my passion and my love, is the path I should take. It fosters confidence, which breeds more confidence and that opens you to possibilities. I’ve always looked at the book as my product, one that I need to get to market. In an effort to accomplish that, I attended my first book expo and that was my greatest lesson. I realized how much I didn’t know about publishing and that I had choices to make; I either stop pursuing this journey, stop spending money in hopes that something good will happen, or I stop straddling the fence, jump in with both feet and make the dream a reality.

 

 

Remember the Inspiration that is Nancy Drew

Remember the Inspiration that is Nancy Drew

Inspiration: Today

Inspiration started with a book, which led to a love of mystery. But I wanted more than just to read the words, I wanted to write them.

After spending seven years in the mire that is marketing, writing, editing and parenting, I found myself stuck in the same place and it hit me, that something needed to change. Finding inspiration, I started over, with a new website, book series name, Facebook page name and Twitter handle.

Phew…And now I’m finally ready to release book two, with fear and awe.

While I reflect on the early days, back to a time when I had no idea what would become of my books or where the journey would take me, I find that inspiration and I share with you bits and pieces of that early blog. It sounds almost the same.

Inspiration: October 2010

I was a reader; everything from Nancy Drew, Little House on the Prairie, and Little Women. It inspired me to write my first book at seven years old. At nine, I read Beverly Clearly and Judy Blume, hiding “Forever” under my pillow at night. I graduated to Stephen King and slept with a nightlight; words had that effect. I felt something for these characters, I was engrossed in a good story. I loved to tap into the imagination. Inspiration; I wanted to be a writer.

Though life sidetracked me with a job credit card services, my time as an interior decorator. I had kids and I forgot what I wanted to be when I grew up. Until Harry Potter reminded me.

It’s really not the end of the journey, now that The Day of First Sun eBook is published. I think I’m now just beginning. Book two Black Market is well on its way, and I’m looking forward to all the possibilities. Thanks to everyone for their messages, for their support and questions and if you purchased the book, thank you, thank you, thank you!

Never Tell a Writer to Stop

Never Tell a Writer to Stop

I’m tired. I took a full-time job to pay for the marketing to try to sell my books. I come home, take care of the children, the bills, groceries, dishes and take care of the other commitments that come with living in the real world. It makes me no different from other moms. I’m not claiming I am. And this isn’t about how my life may or may not suck.

It’s about my second job. The one I’ve been working at for the last four years. The one I’m not getting paid for, the one that takes me away from friends, commitments, children, relaxing. Again, it’s not a mom thing. I’ve been an unpaid mom for sixteen years. No, this is about the dream, the job I really want.

When people ask how I’m doing, I mostly say I’m okay, unless I’m really tired, really stressed and really needing a good writing session. And frankly I don’t complain much about it because most people tell me, maybe if I’m that stressed, I should put the books away for a little while.

I’m tired of explaining myself to everyone. It’s not a simple proposition to put the book down. It’s like cutting off a limb. It’s a part of me. When I’m not writing, it gnaws at me, crawls through my skin reminding me that there’s something else I’d rather be doing. I almost waited too long to begin my journey and if I put it away for even just a week, I may out of habit never pick it up again. I can’t do that.

Even as my world can sometimes crash around me as I struggle to get the laundry done, the groceries bought, the children taken care of, have a social life, I desperately reach for something to hold on to so that I don’t drown in my daily life. My life saver is writing. When you want something badly enough and you can’t shake it, you keep at it even when everything else is in danger of falling to pieces. It’s my life line.

Never tell an aspiring writer to put it away for a little while. We have a story to tell, an emotion to release, a message to say. If we put it away for even a little while, it burns a hole in us and we’re no longer being true to ourselves. .

One day maybe the non-writer will understand.

 

The Dream as it Slips Away

The Dream as it Slips Away

I started to work full-time this year because frankly, I wasn’t selling any books. I was marketing. Twitter, Facebook, blogs, you name it I was throwing it out there. I just wasn’t selling any books. One sure way to find the market to buy your product is to advertise, so rather than going broke trying to market my product, I took a job last March to pay for the whole shebang.

My life has become an endless tedious quest for the prize and though I can’t give it up, because I really don’t know what I’d do if I did that, sometimes I wonder when will enough be enough. I work full-time, drive the kids around to their things, grocery shop, put the clothes away, clean the kitchen, you know the stuff that has to get done. Sometimes that stuff gets pushed to the side because I have to edit or write the blog or tweet or a host of other things that hopefully will need me to where I want to be. It leaves very little time for friends, for relaxing, for going to the doctor, an appointment I needed to schedule six months ago and well, I haven’t done it yet.

The more engaged I become in the job I now have, the more I feel as though that dream is slipping away because something is about to break. Most likely me of a nervous breakdown. But then someone like Snooki publishes a fourth book and I wonder again if I should even try.

The dream doesn’t completely slip away because I still have a plan and a desire for something more than that average 8-4 job. I have places I want to revisit, or trek to for the first time, I have experiences I want to experience, and there’s a career that I really want to have.

The job is stressful, it’s a new industry and something that’s completely out of my comfort zone. It reminds me everyday that I have gotten close to where I want to be and sometimes, it’s simply depressing. But sometimes, that negative is what you need to push yourself. I’m not really running out of time. Everyday is the beginning of the future and everyday, is one step closer.

To quit or not to quit will always cross my mind, but so does try and do.

 

The Quit Debate

The Quit Debate

sheryl banner whateever wednesday

 

 

 

 

 

As I start this blog entry I’m really want you to know I’m not trying to whine or complain. I’m just taking stock of the last year and making decisions. This is really meant to be a look back and maybe someone, somewhere can benefit from my mistakes. Or maybe you can relate or maybe this will make you feel better because things aren’t as bad for you. Or maybe no one will read it. I can never be sure.

I’m seriously thinking of quitting. I’m not sure I have what it takes to be an independent author and maybe the last four years were simply the act of fooling myself into thinking I was actually a writer. Pros and cons cloud my mind as I contemplate giving it all up and I change my mind so fast that my head is ready to spin-off. I wish I had me to talk to when I started this process, when I decided to write my first book. This debate started when I released She Wulf and agonized over horrible reviews and it’s come to this because I haven’t sold a book in months. Granted I haven’t been pushing them, I’m just starting to think it’s not going to happen.

I know I’ve chosen a difficult path for myself and I know we all can’t be best-selling authors, but I was hoping for something a little more. I at least put myself out there and I tried, but honestly, bad and so so reviews make me believe that my work is just that, so so and bad. Either that or I’m failing miserably finding my core audience. Regardless, I’m finding it difficult to find the inspiration to keep at it. So if my legacy in the end becomes a cautionary tale for other writers so be it. I’ll just have to find that happiness somewhere else. In the meantime, I honestly feel like I have something useful to share. So here it is the many things I’ve learned about writing and publishing. I hope it inspires or helps, either way, it’s one perspective that not many chose to share.

1) Editing. Hire a good editor. My first go round I went through CreateSpace. I’m not saying their editors are bad, I’m just saying it wasn’t the perfect situation for me. I need someone who I could easily contact. Someone that I can throw ideas out to. Someone who intimately knows my book, story and characters. Before re-releasing The Day of First Sun, I had it re-edited. To this day I can still go to my editor, Ashley and ask her questions. She one of my biggest supporters and one of the reasons I’ve hung around this long.

2) Editing. Yeah. You really need to edit. Two drafts might be enough for some, but for me what I learned about editing is this, finishing one draft and starting the next one after only eight hours of sleep isn’t long enough to process your work, think about the direction or come up with new and unusual plot points or characters. I edited The Day of First Sun at least six times, one right after the other. When I decided to re-write it last year, I picked it up for the first time after a full year, and boy did I see it differently. So much so it became a complete rewrite. Though the story is the same, it’s really so different and I might say even better.

3) Editing. Again. See number one and two. Don’t be afraid to re-write, move, or edit out stuff. I tried so hard to create the world in the first book that I wanted to include everything, including flashbacks, spells, and creatures. Write them down and save them for the next book. As it turns out, I removed the memory modification scene from The Day of First Sun. I think I’m actually using that spell in my second book in the series.

4) Editing. And you thought it was something else. Make sure you trust and like your editor. This one is for Kira, who after I received horrible, mean and nit picky reviews for She Wulf , she kept me sane, was a great support and took time out from her busy life to teach me new ways to write and edit. I wrote Yeti with her help. She spent weeks coming up with lesson plans and going through the story re-teaching me how to write and edit my work. I can never thank her enough for doing this on her own time. Her support has been amazing. I wish I was a better student and had more to show for it, but because of her my rewrite of The Day of First Sun is far better than it originally was.

4) Write everyday. And you thought it was about editing again. Nope. I’m done with editing. I wanted to be a writer when I was seven years old. I did write a lot when I was a kid. I had my own detective series with a female detective named Jeffrie Marcus. (Thanks Nancy Drew.) When I got my first job out of college I knew it wasn’t going to be perfect and I knew I wouldn’t write a book at first, so I worked my way into a writing position so that I could do what I wanted and make money while I contemplated my first love. Eventually life got in the way of my dream. Kids, death, depression can muck up your life and they are things you can’t go back and change. It’s the one thing I truly regret is that I stopped writing. So if you want to be a writer, write even if that means you write a line a day.

5) Twitter, Facebook, Linked In, Tiberr, Instagram… Buffy had the Evil Trio as her arch nemesis. I have Twitter. You have to be social on social media if you are trying to sell your books. I have yet to master this which is part of my problem. Social media is not necessarily for introverts. I still have no idea how to make it work. I’ve hired help and she’s been fabulous increasing my twitter following and Facebook author page, but I’m still at a loss as to how to create these relationships the marketing experts always talk about. I’m trying to build a following but for me I think I just don’t know what to say. Find out who your audience is and what they are interested in and talk about that. If you figure it out please let me know.

6) The blog. Now here’s my problem with blogging. I don’t read blogs. I usually found the information very high level and not usually useful. Also, see number five. I just don’t know what to say. I’ve been reworking and rewriting trying to find that one thing that gets people interested and every once and awhile I hit on something that people want to read. But mostly it’s high level and quick because none of us has time to read lengthy material. What I do know is, talk about yourself and share. So here’s my sharing.

7) Don’t jump into self publishing unless you really know what it consists of. I jumped right away. I didn’t edit my work enough. I rushed without learning about professional editing, without talking to agents, or attending book fairs.  Talk to other authors, find out what’s out there. Find someone like me who’s willing to share the pitfalls. I’ve done this several times to other aspiring writers because I want them to go in knowing what they’re getting themselves into. I wish I knew.

8) You can’t please everyone. I have a writer friend who’s had the opportunity to talk to agents and others in the book industry. Each one of them has offered her suggestions on how to change her book. She’s made so many changes that the book is far from her original vision for it. I suggested she make changes that make sense and yet allow her to retain her vision. She’s rethinking her book because unless one of the agents is taking her as a client, she can’t try and please all of them.

9) You can’t please everyone but you can accept suggestions. As part of eight, here’s nine, similar and yet different. This friend once told me she really liked one of my characters, one that I had only written into the first half of the book. After discussing our books with each other, I realized she was right. I should include Jack Ramsey in the latter part of the book and planned how to do that. I figured an FBI agent whether he was in charge of the case or not would want to be there to see the case through and I had him conclude the investigation by being there to capture the murderer and arrest him. The second major change came after my editor pointed out that all of my relationships started before the book’s timeline and that maybe it would be more interesting if we saw the start of some of those relationships. I thought about it, agreed and changed one of the key relationships in the book. Jack and Annie no longer knew each other prior to the story. It changes how they interact and creates a little tension and confusion. Make the changes that make sense, because you can’t please everyone. Please yourself first.

10) Believe in your work. I love my characters. I love the story lines. I love my book series. I really believe I have a great idea for book series and a television show. If I don’t believe that I should stop writing.

11) Most importantly, believe in yourself. No one else will. You will find supportive and helpful friends but only you can write and edit and do the things you need to do in order to make your dreams happen and you have to believe that you can do it. If you don’t believe in yourself you won’t get very far. You are a writer, you deserve a chance to try to make it. We don’t always get what we want but if you have no faith in yourself, you will never achieve anything. And I discovered I believe that I can do this.

Am I bitter? Sometimes. Do I lack self-esteem? When it comes to my books, right now yes. But I’ve learned a lot in the last four years. And one of those things that I’ve learned is, I have a lot to offer. I’m a good writer with a good idea. It’s just going to take me a little longer than some. And in reality I was never really going to quit. I’m a writer after all and that’s what I was born to do.

Top 10 Things I Miss About Being a Stay at Home Mom

Top 10 Things I Miss About Being a Stay at Home Mom

Been there. Done that. Today.

 

I recently got a job. I know, you roll your eyes because you too, work full-time. Well I haven’t worked full-time since before my children were born. That would be sixteen years to be specific. Since then, I’ve been at home, a volunteer in the classroom, running to the doctor’s office, grocery story, Tae Kwon Do, softball, basketball. You get the picture.

The job is contractual and I’m done October 1. I look very forward to it. So in honor of Mother’s Day I thought I’d share a few thoughts about why I miss being a stay-at-home mom and remember they’re in no particular order.

  1. My kids. Actually what I really miss is taking them places. No, I hate driving around for hours at a time. But at least while we’re in the car I have a chance to talk to them. They might not want to talk to me but at least they see and hear me.
  2. Sleeping in. It used to be 8:30 in the morning. Now sleeping in is roughly 5:30am. That is if I don’t have to wash my hair in the morning.
  3. Procrastinating. Yeah there’s something in the idea that there’s always time tomorrow. You might not get as much done but eventually you will.
  4. Napping. That’s self explanatory, because really who doesn’t like a good nap in the middle of the day?
  5. I miss stuff for my kids. I don’t like that. I’ve missed doctor’s appointments and track meets. I can’t always take off and be there, that’s a little disconcerting.
  6. Working on my book for lengthy periods of time. Now I have only a few hours and it might take all that time to finally get into the      groove. Now I have to accept a sentence as being good enough.
  7. Getting all my errands done when no one is around. It’s awfully crowded after work. I much prefer daytime shopping.
  8. Re-runs of Gilmore Girls. Since they’re on at 10 am I’m just not around to watch them. For some reason that show just make me happy.
  9. Not feeling so tired all the time. It’s exhausting getting up early and I can’t quite figure out how to make it to bed before 10:30 pm.
  10. Lunching with the ladies. Okay I really don’t lunch with the ladies but I could if I wanted to when I was at home. It’s simply knowing that makes it  worthwhile.

I’ve gotta admit though, the bonus to working outside the house is continuity, and having a place to go. It’s also about talking to real adults, gaining experience and possibly bringing something to my writing. Though I’m not writing as much as I’d like, I find myself far more productive in other ways and for that, I guess the experience is worth it. Not to mention at the end of the day, there’s always a pay check to enjoy.

It’s a change, and in the end I’m sure I’ll be used to it, just as the contract writing gig winds it’s way down and is done. Happy Mother’s Day!

%d bloggers like this: