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Divorce and the Single Mom

Divorce and the Single Mom

I’ve spent a lot of time talking about the issues of raising an introvert and how many challenges I have to overcome when helping my daughter grow into a productive, confident and happy adult. I’m not the only one who fears for my kids. We parents have so many different ways of hurting and helping our children and sometimes, the best way to help them is to help ourselves. This week let me introduce Marilyn Mages, newly divorced single mom and her perspective of what divorce means for her and her child.

Divorce –

There are very few spaces in life where you feel happy and sad, relived and lonely, and full of excitement as you look at moving toward a new future. At 45 I never expected to be in this situation although it is probably the case that most people don’t. I have found myself starting over as a single person. I am looking forward to the challenge that my new life brings and also I am excited about starting over.

There are things that I miss already. I miss not having my daughter around. I really hate having to share her with her dad. I feel blessed that I am even a mom. And the idea that I have been reduced to every other weekend, well, all I can say is that I hate it. I really just hate it.

I miss my family as a unit. While my husband checked out a long time before we were actually divorced, I miss the three of us being together. I do miss my old life in certain ways, and the thought of coming up with a new routine is intimidating.

I also miss my neighborhood. I loved my house and I loved my life for the most part. I also loved my neighbor. It took 11 years to find her. We shared sugar, vases and she was someone who was there for me even for just 5 minutes when I needed her. Two years later, I find myself deserting her.

What is most scary is really the idea of starting over. Who wants to start all over again half way through life. I therefore choose to look at it like a blessing.

What’s new on the list???

Dating for example. How far do you allow yourself to go on a first date, how long to you wait to talk between dates, is that guy worth all of the effort you are putting in. Don’t get me wrong, it seems like an oxymoron to be single and be a mom at the same time.

I have needs but at the same time, I want to make sure that I am the best mom ever. It is like I am living as a spy with a separate identity, one that my daughter doesn’t know about. Nor do I want her to know about.

Learning how to feel sexy again and feel good about me…Man, I need to hit the gym and I need to achieve my goals.

What is it that I want out of this new life?

I want to date and have someone to talk with.

I want to be happy and take risks and do something that I have never done before.

I want to learn more about myself and what makes me happy.

I want to feel calm and not have life pass me by at a light speed pace.

I don’t want people to be sorry because in the end, this was the right thing to do.

 

Marilyn currently lives in Glenview, IL with her 12 year old daughter. She has been in marketing/communications since 1998. Marilyn is learning to start over after getting divorced after 22 years of being married. She enjoys writing, reading and biking.

Inspirational Avenues – A guest post by CP Bialois

Inspirational Avenues – A guest post by CP Bialois

cp book cover

Hello everyone! I’d like to thank you and my wonderful host for allowing me to guest post here.

Let me start with introducing myself. I’m CP Bialois and I write in multiple genres from horror, thriller, epic fantasy, and now science fiction. I like a little of everything so I like to spread my wings and share my ideas with others. Besides, it’s much more fun to play without limitations, am I right?

Getting back to the topic at hand, I draw my inspiration from anywhere and everywhere. It’s cliché by now to hear that coming from a writer, but it’s true. The smallest things in life can often lead to the best stories. A perfect example of that is my newest book coming out January 15, 2014 called, The Last World.

Strangely enough, the idea for this came from watching a documentary about the making of the Universal classic The Creature from the Black Lagoon. As soon as they mentioned it was taking place in a lost world, the title and story came to me in a flash and it became my first ever NaNoWriMo project for 2011.

I find it funny in that my idea bears no resemblance to the classic movie, yet that’s where the inspiration came from. For all intents and purposes, I was in the right place at the right time. All I had to do was let the idea come and pay attention to it. Sometimes things just happen.

It was a great experience taking part in my first NaNo with this idea and seeing it grow into something I really enjoy sharing. I hope you have as much fun reading it as I did writing it and please feel free to share it if you wish.

Synopsis:

Franklin Bowen was an ordinary man with anger management issues until one day he finds himself drawn into something he never believed possible. Thinking he’s lost his mind, he resists the urging of a mysterious figure named Tanok who only appears to him in visions.

After seeing the desolation brought upon the immense interstellar human empire by a virus from a neighboring galaxy, Franklin is forced to reconsider his belief in what is real in order to help Tanok save mankind from extinction.

Will Franklin find the strength he needs to persevere, or will the Earth and its people follow what’s left of his sanity?

Any feedback is always appreciated. You can find me at any of the following:

Blog: http://cpbialois.wordpress.com/

Website: http://cpbialois.webs.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/AuthorCPBialois

Twitter: @CPBialois

Goodreads: https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5286504.C_P_Bialois

cp head shot

Ed White, AKA CP Bialois, is a former retail manager and jack of all trades turned author. One of the original members of the Writer’s Club, Ed currently has five books published and is part of an anthology under his pen name CP Bialois. His first novel, Call of Poseidon, is available in the Broward County Library system. Always willing to help, Ed offers his time to edit his fellow Writer’s Club members’ books as well as help his fellow authors in their endeavors. When not in the library writing, Ed can be found on twitter @cpbialois, Facebook CP Bialois, and his blog cpbialois.wordpress.com

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